Friday 20 March 2015

The Girlfriend Experience

Commenter Robert What? has a question about prostitutes and The Girlfriend Experience:
I agree that a prostitute who can provide the GFE is the way to go for older men, especially after they have had children or decided they are not having children. Basically as in marriage you are paying for sex and affection. But with a professional it is a lot less costly. In addition, whether the wife provides that sex and affection is totally at her whim. You still need to pay the price whether she delivers or not. If a professional doesn't deliver, you find another who will. If I was doing it all over again - knowing what I know now - I'd remain a bachelor and go that route.
That leads us to the next question. Although you might not have an answer for it. How does a man find such a professional who can provide the GFE? A brief search online turns up a lot of aging cows and jaded looking skanks.
For starters I decided that I'd better double-check exactly what GFE means. I got on to Urban Dictionary and found this definition:
Girl Friend Experience
Affection oriented escort.
And further down on the same page:
Girl Friend Experience
1. Shows up and acts like she wants to be there.
2. Deep french kisses.
3. Bare Back Blow Job.
4. Stays and provides service for the full hour.
If all four criteria are met the provider is known as a GFE.
Jaime is an excellent $200 GFE in the South Florida escort market.
That freaking agency said she was GFE but all I got was a lame CBJ, peck on the cheek,some doggy, and she left after 23 minutes.
I also looked at Ultimate GFE:
Ultimate GFE
Ultimate GFE (Girl Friend Experience)--when a prostitute behaves like her client's girlfriend in bed. A "regular" GFE experience will necessarily include kissing (both Light French and Deep French kissing), cuddling, and a generally unrushed experience. Ultimate GFE adds to this full and complete bareback sex (both oral and vaginal), much as one would do with one's girlfriend. An Ultimate GFE, in bed, is therefore completely indistinguishable from being with one's girlfriend.
"Dude, that chick I picked up on TER gave me an ultimate GFE experience...even got to cream inside of her."
So yes, it still means what I thought: you're paying for a prostitute to act like she's your girlfriend. I wasn't certain if the definition had changed.

(By the way: if you paid for an hour and the girl buggers off before that hour is done, you got ripped off. It doesn't matter if you can only orgasm once, you can still generally get it up again fairly quickly and have a bit more fun. You are paying for the use of her body for fun for a set time-period, not "until I orgasm". Remember that - complain loudly or rate negatively if she's from an agency - and never take that girl again. Now back to GFE.)

I've never engaged a prostitute for this type of thing, though I have been propositioned by a couple who offered it. One of them is an exceptionally cute 22yo who currently lives up in Auckland - her rate is $250 for an hour, an extra $30 for oral (no condom), if you want more than an hour then the hourly rate drops to $200 per. Longer costs less though I didn't inquire that deeply into it.

The second prostitute that I knew offered the full GFE for $1,500 a night. You got her for the full evening, night, and morning (usually 4pm to 10am). It included the works: being seen in public, dinner, breakfast, bathing/showering together, sex on demand, oral/anal/vaginal, fetishes, no protection at all - everything. That girl was 27yo and looked like Keiran Knightly with her hair cut short (danger sign right there).

So there's two prostitutes that I know offer(ed) these services. I suppose that finding another one would simply be a case of outright asking the girl if she provides the full GFE - there's no need to be embarrassed. From what I've seen and heard, many girls do not like blurring the boundaries like this: many actually do have real boyfriends and they see their job as being totally separate and professional. They work hard to partition the two.

Stepping back to take an overview, I can see two big reasons for not paying for the GFE:

1/ You're paying to have unprotected sex with someone who sells her body to many, many people for unprotected sex. Unlike the ordinary prostitute who should be using protection, these girls will get diseases. (Note that even ordinary prostitutes will not use protection if she's paid enough. Make sure that you always use protection.)

2/ The GFE experience involves cuddling - oxytocin - instinctive bonding. Men who have had many women can still bond, though with lesser intensity. Women who have had many men do not bond anywhere near so well. While it doesn't seem like a big deal from her side, from a paying customer's side it could be damn problematic. You don't want to develop feelings for a whore and you don't want her fucked-up feelings fixating on you (see the end thought below).

Here's a different thought: It would seem better for a man to wear a wedding ring, lie and say that he's married - then have his mistress act as a girlfriend "when he's in town" every 2-6 weeks. There is no "why haven't you called" whining, there's no real expectations beyond fun for the both of you. Give a simple "don't ask" for potentially tricky questions. I have the feeling that this is a very common situation. "A different girl in every city."

So there's my take on the Girlfriend Experience: overall it's damned dangerous. It's also an indictment of society that men are having to pay for this.

End thought: Remember the girl who offered the $1,500 a night full GFE? She had a boyfriend who she did not automatically give that experience to. Cooking? Cuddling? Happy to be around him all the time? Not on your life. Very happy to provide that sort of thing to a man who paid $$$ for it - she did it every week or two for clients. Not the slightest interest in doing it for her real-life "boyfriend" even once.

So don't date a prostitute or stripper. Seriously. Don't invite that emotional mess into your life. Don't get emotionally tangled with her and don't risk her getting emotionally tangled with you. Hopefully you'll never see or experience the result.


  1. Uncovered oral (etc) is not my understanding of GFE. The other end of the spectrum is PSE: Porn Star Experience. I'd expect the PSE worker to do the more unconventional stuff, anal, acrobatic positions; and the GFE to be more vanilla but with kissing, other affection (kissing is pretty much the litmus test - many workers will not do it).

    Your comments about time are certainly true, though. I wouldn't express it as "paying for the use of her body", but as "paying for the provision of a service". A subtle but I think important difference.

    1. You put it far better, paying for a service.

      Re the GFE differences - it might depend upon how much of a whack-job the girl is question is to determine how much she will do. The girl who did the $1,500 a night was one serious whack-job nymphomaniac type.

      In all cases, kissing is the litmus test.