What you are loving is merely a concept, an idea. This concept is where love comes from. You are not in love with a person - you are in love with your concept of that person. This is because without some form of merging consciousness - some form of true telepathy - you are completely incapable of knowing that person on a deep level. Let alone falling in love with them on a deep level. All you can fall in love with is your concept of what you think that person is.
It would be more accurate to say that we fall in infatuation/lust with other people. We can fall out of infatuation/lust with them just as damn fast too, once we get to know what they're really like. It happens all the time.
- You thought she was a great match...until you were with her for a while and found out how greedy and needy and self-serving she actually is. Then you fell out of love.
- You thought he was a great match...until you realized that he has a gambling addiction and is a secret drug-user. Then you fell out of love. (Though fucked-up women are likely to stick with him, twin fucked-up-ness attracting each other.)
So yeah, you can't judge a book by the cover. Except that you can when the shit within is written all over the cover in metaphorical letters of fire ten feet high:
- Tattoo'ed Slut
- Secret Prostitute
- Money-Grubbing Whore
- Gold Digger
- Pathetic User
The list goes on and on, a never-ending litany of fucked-up-ness and woe often masquerading as "normalcy" - yeah, right. Though I suppose it is "normal" if you consider the modern pieces of shit - male and female both - to be some form of normal. "The majority is normal." Democracy in action, (crappy) sheep defining and defending (other) crap as being normal.
So we fall in love with our concepts of what we think each other is like. We go to great lengths to plan for a life, a family, a lifetime together.
Then we find out the lie that the other was pushing - that our concepts of the other were yet another delusional lie on top of their lie - and that they were not at all like that. Nothing close to it. We fall out of love. One side gets raped while the other side takes all it can get (and then some, if possible).
Love. The biggest lie out there. Sold by pushers in the mainstream media, so they can soak as much money out of you as possible before your delusions are ripped away and the lie is exposed. They might even try to get you two or three times ("third time's the charm!" hah!).
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What about 'falling out of love' just because of habituation?ReplyDelete
Habituation as in a woman becoming biologically irrelevant? (As in, hitting The Wall and becoming infertile?)Delete
Habituation as in familiarity breeding contempt? (Effectively meaning that the concept of him/her has been updated.)
I'm not sure what context you're meaning here. Please amplify.
Simple boredom on her part. "I love you but I'm no longer in love with you." You know where it leads.Delete
Simple boredom? She's probably gotten to the point where she's updated her concept of the man and it no longer intrigues or interests her. Thus: boredom.Delete
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
Love is an action and choice, not a concept. The foundational premise that rests upon that choice is the principle of discernment. At one time it might be called “courting.” You test the person to know what you're getting into before you sleep with a woman. If you are foolish enough to bed some woman who you haven't tested over time and think the bond formed is love - you are gravely mistaken. It's a form of emotional bondage that damages your mind, and conscious - if you're not a sociopath or narcissist. In hindsight I have never loved the women I "believed" I loved. What is portrayed as romantic love is bullshit. However, this "concept/narrative" feeds the consumer bottom feeder princess drones and the economy!ReplyDelete
I've been thinking about this off-and-on for a couple of days. I realize that I, also, have never loved the women I believed that I loved. All that was there was infatuation with what I thought she was, my concept of her. Even so, it was not love.Delete
I'm very glad to hear that. I find it can be quite disturbing to realize how deceived one has been, and then know that pretty much most people are in that same relational sinking ship that we were pulled from. I label most relationships as "codependent narcissism."Delete