Okay, originally this post was going to be titled: Never Explain MGTOW To Women. Then I thought: Why only MGTOW? Why explain ANYTHING to women?
What made me write about this is a few other postings (and videos) that I've seen in the MGTOW community, where men have for some reason stated to women that they're not bothering with women - and trying to explain why. Which always ends poorly because the woman gets upset about it (because it's always a rejection of her - everything is about her) and pulls out the shaming language. Then the guy gets pissed off and puts out a post or video.
So here's a bit of my thinking about this sort of thing.
1/ Why are you bothering to tell her anything about your life, philosophy, and the like?
2/ Why are you bothering to explain anything to her?
3/ Why do you have the mindset that she's entitled to anything at all from you?
To explain:
#1 - It's none of her business. Period. Even if she's your mother or sister it's none of her fucking business. You're alive. You don't have any diseases, broken bones, whatever. You're getting along well. You're enjoying yourself. You have a place to stay, you've got work, you've done a little travel. That's enough for any woman to know. The rest is private.
If she wants to know more: "Are we fucking?" Even if you are, she can go to hell - she has to earn that knowledge, not just get it on a plate for the asking.
#2 - Are you attempting to get some form of social validation from this woman? If so, why? If not, why are you bothering to tell her any-fucking-thing? Unless she's paying you to do a job and is asking what you're gonna do and why - you don't owe her jack shit in the way of explanation or amplification.
Plus it can come across as an excuse, a lame justification, defensive and making you appear to be weak.
#3 - Current society has the mindset that she is "entitled" to ask any question and automatically get an answer from any man. This is an insidious bit of conditioning/habit/mindset that I am attempting to break in myself: every now and then I fuck it up. One bloody hard habit to break.
This is why women will often ask rude things like: What do you do for a living? (Sub-question: How much money do you make? Sub-sub-question: Is it worth knowing you? Sub-sub-sub-sub-mindset: I'm entitled to know so I can choose if I want to get into your wallet via your dick.) Fucking socially clueless retards.
She is not entitled to squat from you. Period.
This is why PUAs state that it's a bad idea to pay for expensive dates, buy her drinks, etc - that's an entitled mindset which is often taken advantage of by today's entitled whore. Best not to feed that mindset, that beast, in any way. So it's a good idea to kill that insidious bit of conditioning/habit. Kill it dead.
Which brings us all the way down to:
4/ Only Men are entitled to hear details about your personal philosophy (in private).
Because only Men can relate to Men (so long as one of them isn't a mangina). Because having any women around when you talk will instantly trigger his "in self-defense always agree with teh wimmenz" mode. Because any women will probably go instantly apeshit as per what causes these kinds of posts. The more women involved, the more apeshit goes down.
Why put yourself in the path of that? Especially when it's none of her fucking business?
Overall: why are we offering up any kind of intimate, personal information to somebody who doesn't mean a damn thing to us? Who doesn't think of us as anything more than an ATM or source of favors or validation? She's most likely just another walking, entitled breeding ground for various exotic STDs. One that we're not interested in getting involved with at all. So why offer up any bloody information at all?
It's the fucking years of conditioning, still stuck in our heads.
Seriously guys, women are not entitled to anything from us. Most especially our innermost thoughts, opinions, philosophies, and life-plans. It's none of their fucking business. That shit is private. Stop being a nosy cunt.
If they don't get this information, then they are not gonna get deeply upset about you, and your life is gonna be so much easier through not having to deal with the bullshit emotions of a subnormal child who means nothing to you in both the short and long term.
Plus you're also denying her a handle with which to grasp and manipulate you. Which teh wimminz hate, hate, hate - but fuck'm, they don't deserve anything more than basic politeness. At least, until they prove differently.
Now go enjoy doing your own thing, without trying to justify it to some random slut-whore. Me, I'm going to sip some Grand Marnier and watch the stars. Good night.
Nice. Great main point.
ReplyDeleteI think men explain because we like to, one.
Two, we think it will somehow make things better. In man fantasy land we think we will explain, the woman will UNDERSTAND (hahahah), and things will work out better.
It is a hard habit to break. Recently I explained what I was up to with my plans for my appearance to get girls with minimal effort to my mobile hairdresser. It was straightforward girl-getting but she's mysteriously gone now.
Anytime you explain they latch onto something, no matter how insane, to generate problems.
If there is a rulebook for getting anything reasonable from these nutcases then Don't Explain is one of the main rules.
Between men, explaining is a productive thing. Men to women - not so much. It simply becomes ammunition for her, a handle on you. Most women will look at everything in the worst possible light, deliberately misconstruing things in their desire to fuel the drama that is their life.
DeleteYou provide an unfortunate example with your mobile hairdresser. In effect you fed her desire for drama - as you said, it created problems (her mysterious disappearance). Hopefully it doesn't come back to really bite you hard.
There are times that we men need to be slippery as teflon. Not giving her any information helps.
From an old reformed over explainer, this is a great post.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your practical posts.
It took me a long time to realize that explaining is a waste of time, because they don't care - well, actually, only about themselves.
The more I explained, the more offense they took.
Keep the practical MGTOW advice flowing - your blog is like that gathering of MGTOW men.
BTW, it's a rhetorical question, but would you adjust anything for dealing with a live in partner? I don't think so myself, but I'd like to hear your view.
Keep up the great work.
Yeah, everything is seen in the light of how it affects her and how it makes her feel. So childish, so selfish, so narcissistic. Best to avoid it entirely, dodge that bullet proactively.
DeleteIf I had a live-in partner I would change nothing. Here's the reasoning:
It's my life (and home) not hers, and I'm not changing to accommodate the sensibilities and preferences of a subnormal child. Simply: if I change for her, then she would take that as the green light to try and change me this way - and that way - and the other way. If I changed for her then I'd probably be weak enough to succumb to these further changes.
So eventually in three-four years we end up back to pathetic under-her-thumb slave-man again - and married due to de-facto relationship/common marriage laws in New Zealand. Then frivorce once more because "he's changed, he's not the man I fell in love with". Cash and prizes.
However, I don't see how this situation would apply to me. See, I don't intend to marry again. Since I don't intend to marry, there is no point to having a live-in partner at all. Therefore she'd never end up in my house for more than a short time. This means that it's better for me that I don't get involved with a woman for more than a year - certainly not bring her into my home and private life on an ongoing basis.
I don't think that I'd do it even for the mythical NAWALT/Unicorn.