Friday 31 October 2014

Fatties Unite

Here's a gem: people are becoming so fat that they're updating the crash-test dummies used for testing cars to cater to the fatty brigade. I'm curious if they're taking into account that the fat forms a cushioning barrier, plus how much bouncing around these fatties will have space to do.

I can just see the new car-designs, designed to be "driven" by bowling-balls. This is probably the only reason that I can see for making driverless cars (apart from women being shit drivers). Fatties can then sit one and two in a pod, swing down a keyboard from the roof, punch in their destination - and sit back corpulently, sucking down sugar-water and munching on emergency "health" food bars.

Overall personal thoughts regarding this: fuckin' hilarious!

Bring back fat-shaming!


  1. Fattie-compliant car designs... how much more space inside would be needed? Perhaps even roads should be wider... : )

    1. Widening the roads would be too much effort at this point in time. What you do is put them one-behind-the-other. So a stretch limousine can now hold a grand total of: four fatties. Ta-dah!

    2. A limo? I was thinking of some 4x4 van/microbus hybrid. Better suspension for all that mass moving around, larger seats and wider doors.

    3. Perhaps even a retractable ramp for those one-fattie personal vehicles.