Monday 18 May 2015

Empowering Women's Sexuality

The latest in the pile of shit that women can buy to empower themselves - the SmartBod™ aka the "Smart Vibrator". From their homepage:
So now, to satirize this with stereotype huckster marketing - *ahem*:

Soon you, too, can experience the pleasure to be had by having your vagina stimulated perfectly - because our robot penis finds out automatically over time EXACTLY THE WAY YOU ACTUALLY LIKE YOUR SEX TO BE!

Be impressed! Be amazed! Be empowered!

Possible side-effects include (and are not limited to):
* inability to orgasm with normal sex
* vaginal stretching
* excessive dryness
* burning
* chafing
* itching
* rash
* pain
* erratic muscle spasms
* broken limbs
* electrocution
* death

Be aware that the normal speed of this device is 600rpm. It is not recommended that it be re-wired or altered to increase this maximum speed. Attempts to do so will automatically void the warranty and remove all liability of the manufacturers.

The manufacturer is in no manner liable for any of the above or other non-stated side-effects. This device should only be used under the close supervision of a gynecologist. Its preferred use is for treating special cases of sexual dysfunction. Overuse is not recommended.

Satire over.

Soon sexbots will be upon us. Women, you are welcome to take home your Mr Studd™. Men, we are welcome to take home our Midnight Lady™. Teh wimminz will have no need of us Men ever again - except as sperm donors and a pocket to put her hand into (good luck chicky-babe).

Just remember:

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