But I Want A Man

The group chatalong on a Friday. Eventually it happens, something along the lines of this.

Her: I want a man in my life.

Me: You don't need a man.

Her: What? But I want a man!

Me: No you don't. Anyway, nobody wants marriage now. Marriage is a crock for women, so men shouldn't oppress you with marriage.

...at this point she's practically incoherent even though my logic isn't that great...

Me: Relax. You don't want to be hanging around somebody 24/7 who is gonna get possessive and clingy and creepy shit like that.

Her: But I want a man! I want babies!

Me: If you want a kid, go pick a random guy up at a bar and get preggers from him. The government will pay for you and it. (I said similar to another chick about a year and a half ago. Still laughable.)

...there was a few more rounds of this - because she couldn't admit out loud that she actually wants a man to sponge off of, rather than working hand-to-mouth until her death with government assistance along the way - followed by...

Me: Forget it, you don't want to get oppressed. Women told men that they don't want men - Feminism realized it and all you girls said "yep! you go girl!" Women don't need men, especially marriage, so we do our own stuff and leave you to yours. It's cleaner.

Her: But I want to have a man! (She's actually tearing up by this point. Almost made me sorry - for about a second.)

Me: Shit sweetheart. Only a real bastard who hates women will drag them into an oppressive situation like marriage. Shit, think about. So this is just a passing thing, eh.

...she basically dribbled into silence after that. The other girl at the table shot me eye-daggers. I simply shrugged. After all what can you say.

I'm actually kinda surprised though. I don't normally tie them up in knots like that - was very much on-form for once.