In the comments I put up a small gem and decided to repost my comment here for further analysis and thought:
@Shaman - take it over the edge and enjoy it. As you say, she can deal or GTFO.
I'm still astonished that you guys are bothering to try and educate that retarded LivingTree. It's like you haven't yet figured that anything coming out of a woman's mouth has only one purpose: to deceive you into her frame. Even when she's agreeing, especially when she's arguing, and most especially when she's trying to achieve a consensus or compromise.
The problem when you compromise is that you have walked away from the truth - what is real. You have been lured into a frame that is not your own and into something that is her frame, or as close as she can currently get you into her frame. She can then use that frame as another starting-point for the next compromise.
This progress can and will continue until - surprise! - you find that you have entered her frame fully. You've compromised and compromised at her bequest, until you have fully given in and become her bitch. You're under her thumb, living inside her illusion, instead of her being under your thumb and living in the real world.
There is no surprise that a woman walks from you when she finds how easily bent and twisted from your purpose and plans you are.
Bronislaw Kaper, musical composer and junior saber champion of Poland: when he watched the new music arts deviate from the classics to undisciplined popularity he declared that people, like their music, lose their way. He saw Kenpo deviate from the Way and declared that he saw the very essence of Kenpo dissipate into absurdity. Even Miyamoto Musashi said that it was very easy to deviate from the Way.
So, regarding the poor sod who had a rude awakening: he now knows the lie. The fact that he's even considering staying in that marriage, let alone apologising to her or considering her health and well being as being anything of concern, shows how strong a grip the lie has upon him. The marriage is dead, get the fuck out of it: I did for lesser things and this is so far over the line that you need binoculars to look back at the starting posts.
1/ post that video of her up on the internet
2/ leave (beating her to a pulp is optional though not advised)
Showing any children exactly why you are leaving is also a priority: make it abundantly clear, even though it scars them. Tough shit, the truth is better than any bucket of lies she can then attempt to force-feed them. "Look, mommy got gang-fucked by five other guys and enjoyed it. This is why I'm leaving: she has no decency in her." In the end you're doing them a favour and showing them what real life is like, not the cottonwool swaddling and pap that they normally get.
Now, the problem with compromise is that it is a twisting away from your desires and into hers. This doesn't benefit you in the slightest - in fact it gives her a handle upon you. That handle will then be used to twist you to her desires even more, until it becomes a leash and collar. A leash and collar so powerful that even when you become aware of it, the grip is still there: sucking you into her reality and making you consider her feelings and desires as paramount.
This is Hegelian Dialectic used to warp and subvert the desires of others to fit your agenda. It is the subtle compromise of ongoing brainwashing to make you accept what was once unthinkable as being what is normal. It is a changing of reality to illusion, an illusion of someone else's desire, in small and subtle steps.
The reality in the man's situation is as follows:
Her feelings mean shit, especially when your feelings obviously meant shit to her.
She has constantly lied and deceived you, anything she says or does is going to be another lie or deceit or compromise. (Hah!)
She's done it once and will do it again, and was probably doing it on an ongoing basis while you were oblivious (yes you got cuckolded - multiple times).
You're fucked if you stupidly continue beating this dead fucking horse: best to get it done with, then you can begin the process of healing and do stuff for yourself again instead of being her willing slave.
This Public Service Announcement™ has been brought to you by: "get a fucking clue buddy" and "this is common-fucking-sense" and "grow some fucking balls".