Thursday 25 June 2015

This Is Not A Unicorn

From one of the posters over on Reddit/MGTOW: Hardest Thing I've Ever Done.
I just friend zoned my unicorn. It's such a bitter sweet victory, but it had to be done. Even though it hurt, I feel a tremendous weight off my shoulders and I'm going to have the first peaceful night of sleep in quite a while.
Thank you guys for everything you've taught me and the massive strides in self improvement I've achieved in the last year. There's no chance I could have done it without you. Hope you enjoyed my little victory tonight. Cheers.
From the comments:
I'm not sure what do you exactly mean here. Is it someone you just thought it was an unicorn? Someone that was great but never got interested in you until now, after something changed in your life (money, looks)? Maybe is someone you met recently, but still believe it would be better if you just live by yourself?
And the poster expands upon the situation for the above commentor:
The first two. I've known her for about 2 years now, and when we first met I was about as big of a beta orbiter as one can be. Everything was about winning her affection and pleasing her. I even went to the extent of buying her diamond earrings and a necklace for her birthday after she told me she had no interest in us dating, and WHILE she was in a relationship with another friend's brother. I relied entirely on her for my whole sense of self worth and happiness, which often left me in a pretty bad place due to her having zero interest. Then I discovered TheRedPill and MGTOW which completely changed my entire way of thinking. Now everything wasn't about her it was about improving myself. I started going to my schools gym, quit video games all together, started eating better, lost about 55lbs, and started reading a ton. I've been slowly increasing my frame holding ability and SMV steadily since then with a few minor slips here and there, but hey, no one's perfect. 
That brings us to yesterday. Her, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's brother (my friend) all end up hanging out at their house. For the first time ever I establish and hold a stronger frame than her bf and I saw her react to it immediately. She started getting really cold towards him and a lot closer and touchy with me. She ends up completely blowing him off and spends the entire day hanging out with me and the friend upstairs in a closed room with the boyfriend downstairs talking with his mom and sister. Finally the end of the night comes and she starts expressing her mysterious new found feelings for me. The only mistake I made, was I ended up talking to her until about two AM on the phone. I let a lot slip that I probably shouldn't have including a lot of inner dialogue I've had throughout the past year. Nothing too major, but that's definitely an area I need to focus on improving. 
A large part of me really wanted to cave and go back to wanting to be with her, but I know there's nothing for me down that path. I straight up told her that us being a thing was never going to happen. I said that she made her decision a year ago when she chose her current boyfriend over me, and that even if she broke up with him that night, I'm too focused on improving myself and preparing for my life to have room for her and a relationship. I ended it with saying that we can still be friends, because the way I see it, there's no reason to burn bridges that you don't need too. If I was still infatuated with her I would have cut things off, but I value our friendship and her opinions enough that I don't really see a problem with keeping her around. Plus she's a pretty good reminder of where I used to be and the progress I've made so far in becoming my own man because I never want to go back there.
Read through that and think. Read through the other commentors, some of them are also very interesting. In my opinion the most thought-provoking is this one:
You made the correct decision. If she'll branch swing away from her current boyfriend to you, then she'll also branch swing away from you when the next higher SMV male enters the picture.
She's always looking for the best deal for her dollar (aka the use of her body).

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