• you're shallow
• you have issues
• you're crazy
• you're wrong
• I don't like you
And many other ad hominem personal attacks of various types upon someone's character. You can tell simply from noting this type of attack upon the character of the person(s) being targeted. When I notice these types of things, I attempt to try and figure out what their motive behind these attacks might be (if I'm not blindsided by surprise). Invariably it is to shame someone into line with the attacker's thinking.
There are also often blanket pre-emptive defensive statements along the lines of:
• I'm not doing X, what would be the point?
This is a very disingenuous and dissimilating self-defense, very amusing once you catch it. As if simply saying "I'm not attacking him, what would be the point?" can actually smokescreen and hide the attack.
It actually might - IF you are not aware of this tactic. Simply noting that someone is attempting this form of smokescreen "I'm not doing X" when they actually are, is an instant red flag that they're trying to be sneaky and their words need to be analysed very carefully. You need to determine their ulterior motive.
As per my post about Making the Effort, whenever you see these types of statements and arguments: take them with a grain of salt. Try to find the reasoning behind them. When you can see the attack, when you can see through the smokescreen, is when you can start seeing in what way the attacker is attempting to trick/force you to think.
One of the best attacks that I ran into: "It is not appropriate to psychoanalyse someone in a debate." This turd was thrown at me by a female who was attempting to browbeat me into submission online - a typical troll attack that I eviscerated and analysed so that others could learn from it.
It is ALWAYS appropriate to psychoanalyse someone. That's how you figure out their motivations, where they're coming from, and can counter any bullshit snow job that they're attempting to pull on you. Snow jobs like the combination defensive-attack statement that it's not appropriate to psychoanalyse them.
Catch them out in their bullshit and they will hate-hate-hate you with a passion. They loathe being caught. Especially they loathe being caught out in their bullshit and getting called out on it. Nobody likes being manipulated - conversely it's embarrassing to be caught out manipulating someone.
As an aside, BPD/NPD types seem to be highly prone to flying off the handle when caught out. Which is a brilliant reaction - when someone is reduced to swearing and physically striking out, they have no rational answer to you. All that's left to them is falling back on irrational emotional browbeating and screaming and physical abuse and the like.
Which sadly, far too many men are "nice" and fall into that trap, instead of slapping their faces off when they try it. Be aware of the PC domestic abuse shit, that's a whole new layer of crap if you're married to the whack-job.
Which unfortunately is very common in these degenerate times. Note that their female friends will invariably support them, continuously, to the point of utter stupidity and ostracising you for daring to speak out. It is a brilliant exhibition of herdthink that you should always take careful note of. You (and they) are known by the close friends that you keep around and support verbally and physically.
At any rate. I think that my motivation with this post is to help you see through these attacks, to counter them, to attempt to learn the reason behind why the person is making the attack, to let you make your own decisions about what you think and believe. At least, that's what I'm saying my motivations are.
Remember though. You cannot trust my stated motivations. I could be lying for some reason, in order to throw you off the track, put up a smokescreen, do a snow job on you, and trick/force you into thinking how I want you to think.
Only you can decide.