Friday 5 March 2021

Rising Incompetence

Ah Aaron, so pricelessly put: Why IKEA Is The Future Of The US Economy.

I have been dealing with this myself - the rising idiocracy. Not that I consider myself smarter'n anyone else. I simply marvel at the stupidity of things that people do. As Aaron states in the linked post, it can only be because we're raising people to be lazy morons (which in cold fact appears to be true, given the rise of dipshit non-degrees and entitled cuntism).

As per my last post, ole BPS is looking into the currently-frothy BS aka New Zealand housing market. To put things in perspective: 12-14 years ago my current home cost about $300k and I got it freaking cheap then. I thought it was crackers then. Now I have over $200k cash - and looking at the housing market around here that's a fucking deposit.

First world problems, huh.

Anything really good around here is over the million-dollar mark, though I could of course shift to some economically-depressed shithole part of New Zealand. West Coast of the South Island, South Auckland, etc - though South Auckland (even though a shithole with people eternally renting and the neighbors screaming and ranting while living in each other's back-pockets) has grown way more expensive than it should be.

You can buy a big chunk of land in shitsville and get a damn good stone-and-tile home built. Yes, quarried stone blocks, tile roof, some decent landscaping, and enjoy working your gardens during your retirement. Of course, you're still living in shitsville with the fuckin' gangs and local Maori giving you the stink-eye 'cause you got fuckin' money bro and how much can we rip you off?

Economic depression coupled with unrealistic prices? Check. As Aaron puts it: there's no white picket fences around the homes in a decent neighborhood for people now. Though I'll admit that NZ towns have grown weirdly - you can go about 3 blocks from upmarket to shitsville, and another 3-4 blocks back to upmarket once more. It's weird. There's no better way that you can describe it.

So, rising incompetence. For something decent, look at the million-buck mark. If you're desperate, you can buy something around the $700k mark which has leaking-home issues. AKA it was built between 1995-2005 from non-tanalised timber, with "new" aka we-don't-actually-know-how-to-install-this-shit-but-it-sure-looks-good walls and roofs, and it leaks like fuck and rots out. To the point where the agent has a tarp in the middle of the lounge floor and is telling people to walk around it "because the roof leaked and it's rotted the floor out, it won't cost you much to replace".

Let's be clear: there has been a slow leak for years, which the owner knew about yet couldn't be arsed fixing, it's been dripping through into the lounge while the owner watches TV and screams at the kids to shut the fuck up and get me another fuckin' beer, but it won't cost you much to replace the floor.

What about all the timber framing and ceiling joists and shit that have rotted also? There comes a point where about all you can do is buy the place for the land and bulldoze it. You better have deep pockets.

From the Real Estate Agent aka worthless salesman: "The floor can be easily replaced." And someone buys it anyway. Fuuuuuuuck. Ollie Newland (a fairly famous NZ real estate guru) once described a rotting ceiling falling in on some people during dinner, rotting wood and fungal growth all over the dinner table. He wasn't kidding, that's the reality of some places.

So you have to look at the million-mark. For that kind of money it had better be fucking pristine. Even so you do the work, checking consents, getting building reports, getting an independent valuation. It all costs bucks and time and things have changed a shitload. You have to learn to look at all the Council records, interpret them, yourself.

The valuation seems to be really low here. What is going on? Then you notice that the valuer only counted X square meters of home, it's short about 70 square meters floor area. What the fuck? How could you miss a 7x10 meter chunk of floor? That's the size of an apartment.

So you send the valuer the Council records and say "hey, you've said it's X square meters, it's actually X + 70 square meters according to the Council".

"Oh, very sorry sir, we'll revalue it and get it to you this afternoon."

"Where did you get the original information from anyway?"

"The vendors gave it to us, it wasn't as clear as these you've sent us."

Hold the fucking phone.

These cunts are charging me over a thousand bucks to value a house. They go to the house, look it over, talk with the vendors aka sellers who hand them a packet of papers that they printed out on their shitty inkjet printer.

Because it was a shitty inkjet printer it's not clear/easy to read and the valuer accepted that as the source from which to do their valuation anyway.

Then when I queried it and sent my copy of the Council records the valuer then accepted that as the source from which to do their valuation.

The whole point of getting an "independent valuation" is for the valuer to independently check the source of truth - the Council records - directly and use those to make certain of an actual fair valuation taking into account the local market conditions.

It does not involve taking any documentation from the vendor/seller or the buyer because it's in the financial interest of both of those bastards to fucking lie.

Both the vendor/seller and I could have slipped anything into those packets of information that we handed over. Subverting the entire process and causing God-alone-knows-what to happen if either of us were found out.

Example: If I'd bought that property and then found out that the valuer accepted the vendor's information to make his valuation - I could (and fucking would!) sue the pants off the sonofabitch. Because they'd have done their job wrongly and potentially cost me hundreds of thousands.


That pretty-much wraps up everything in a neat little package and puts a bow on it. Million-dollar property and some limp-dick does that.

It's 5am here. I have indeed had a couple of Grand Marnier's over the last two nights, while I laugh and marvel at the stupidity of people.

Brought to you by Crap Colored Glasses™, only $1k the pair - and very, very cheap at 10x the price.


  1. I used to spend time in the Takapuna area for work. My Kiwi colleagues have been telling me these same stories for years. The Chinese (?) have been driving up the real estate prices to astronomical levels.

    1. Right now it appears to be more expats, desperate to find a place after the Covid business.

      Nice to meet another Kiwi, cheers!