This is somewhat of a follow-on from my post about Female Best Intentions. Commentor Anonymous asked for any further thoughts regarding willful ignorance and concealing intentions - which when I think about it, those things are for protecting her self. (In fact there are some interesting comments on that post, I'll attempt to answer a few in here.)
I ran across this concept some time back: doublethink.
The context was having stated no desire at all to do X - in fact, stating flat-out "no way are we going to be doing X!" - yet preparing "just in case X actually happens". You simply have to take a look at it and *know* that X is gonna happen, somebody is deliberately planning on it happening, they simply want to retain plausible deniability. You betcha ass.
Those laws regarding divorce: division of property, child custody, child access, child support, alimony, etc. Ask her to sign a pre-nuptual - and she freaks. She would *never* do any such thing. Only really bad women - not her! - would deliberately do that, those laws are for women who genuinely made a mistake and really, Really, REALLY need to get out of a bad situation. It's to protect them and the children.
Five years down the line, she gets bored of the relationship and frivorces you. You get assraped in the court, she gets the children and the house to live in plus child support, while you're still paying the mortgage on the house and paying alimony. If you're lucky you're living in a friend's basement rather than a van down by the fucking river - and she's teaching the children that you're the most filthy scum on the planet while fucking her way along a string of bad-boys who make her wet.
You've been going together regularly for some time now and she suggests that you move in together "because two can live cheaper together than one". You decide "okay" 'cause you like her and have grown comfortable with her - and co-sign the lease with her, etc. Things go swimmingly for a while...then start to go downhill. She doesn't have her share of the rent. Or the food. Or the power, phone, water.
You finally've had enough and hit her up about it - bang, you're outta there with a restraining-order on your ass, while she has all your stuff that you can't get to any more. She moves in some bad-boy and fucks around for a while, while you're sleeping on a mate's couch. You're still paying your half of the lease that you are legally on the hook for - plus hers because she simply claims to the landlord "that piece of shit stole it" or "he hasn't paid his share" or something similar.
She supports the entire idea of "battling single mommies" and the government supporting their kids - after all, think of the children! They need that if things go bad! Then she deliberately gets preggers by you, no-way is she gonna marry you (even though you were definitely good enough to fuck her multiple times), and she's creaming her jeans as she gets both child-support from you and a handout from big-daddy government.
Did I mention bad-boys prior?
Do you seriously think that she set out to deliberately screw you over? Nah. She seemed all happy, chirpy, bubbly - because she WAS all happy, chirpy, and bubbly. All radiant in her joy. A pleasure to be around. So you kept her around.
Then things got stale, so she went looking elsewhere for her next dose of fun. Just like an addict, looking for an emotional high. Not reflecting upon and examining things: she's never been taught to. Not reflecting, not looking at her actions, not looking at her morals, not engaging her conscience (or common-sense) in the slightest.
Fifteen years down the line, age 30+, she suddenly decides: "I'm ready to settle down now."
An addict of fifteen years, ready to settle down and never go looking for another emotional high in her life. Yeah, right, good fucking luck to any poor bastard who gets locked into that mess. Give it 5 years, frivorce, and looking again for a helluva lot more emotional highs from all the bad-boys she can give it away to for free.
Then once the bad-boys dry up: "Where did all the guys go? What happened to all the good guys? Why can't I find a maaaaaan?" And it's aaaallll men's fault.
Perhaps it is. Perhaps we should'a put her on a social choke-chain, to restrain her from doing bullshit things which will fuck up her life long-term. However, all that old social shaming stuff is totally meaningless these days. Passe. Gone. Women are strong, free, and empowered sluts in our Brave New (Social) World.
Now, to pull all that bullshit there has to be a certain amount of self-deceit going on in a woman's head. All women's heads. This is the level of cognitive dissonance - of willful ignorance - that damn near gives me a migraine to try and comprehend. It basically becomes part and parcel of protecting her self. By extension, all womens selves.
A good liar can still slip and get caught out. If you are not lying then you don't slip (because you can't) and you don't get caught out (because hey, you're not lying). The worst that could be said about someone who unknowingly passes on a lie is that they were misinformed. (The media pulls this variation of plausible deniability all the time.)
Following that chain of thought: the best way to pass a lie on is to tell it to someone else who doesn't know that it's a lie and they pass it on honestly. It's called rumormongering. (Media are used in this manner by various special-interest groups, to shape the memes that go around. Memes like Global Warming, Brave Battling Single Mothers, Pollution, etc.)
Now apply this concept to the self. A woman lies to herself, saying that she is X, and acts that way most of the time. The few slips can be glossed over and excused, especially with the harpy's-chorus chiming in to help defend her. A woman lies to herself, convinces herself, and then passes on her lies unknowingly. That's the willful ignorance and cognitive dissonance that a woman deals with internally.
This is spoken of by Rev. Shannon in The Predatory Female: he calls women chameleons. They take on the colors of a mans interests to attract him - ensnare him - marry him - and then the skin comes off and she reveals her real self, once he's hopelessly ensnared. You can meet a woman, she's X way, then five years later you meet her again and she's Y way - all because of the different man she's involved with and how her chameleon nature is concealing and protecting her self.
I sometimes wonder if women can ever know what their true self is. Or is it all a lie - every little thing that you see of her, just a skin to cover that not-even-she-knows-what inside.
Which makes her the consummate predator, one that is capable of concealing her predatory ways even from her self.
One capable of deluding her prey into doing what she wants, even though it is destructive to the environment, making him think that it's his own idea. After all, men have basically hunted down and eradicated every single creature on this planet in the past million years. Sabertooth are extinct - and they lived all the way from Canada down into South America. Huge lions once stalked through Europe and England. Mastodons.
In the past the individual man wasn't gonna click to all this. He simply didn't have enough examples to say "hmmm - this is a trend that can't be explained away by whatever bullshit smokescreen women can come out with". Which is where the internet is helping us men to wake up: we are getting so many examples, through a media that can't be censored or have a particular special-interest-group put their spin put on it.
The lies - even the self-deluded lies - are beginning to unravel under an avalanche of reality from across the world.
Interesting an mostly true. Reminds me of this:ReplyDelete
What about pollution? For example, is fine particulate matter of any kind good for your lungs? I know someone who is a retired baker and a longtime tobacco smoker. He has severe COPD because of inhaled cigarette ash and flour dust. Wanna bet how his lungs look inside?
Black Lung Disease. Asbestos. Sawdust. Micro-lesions in the lungs from inhaling rock dust. Volcanic vapors (ash too?). Biohazard from glass fibers. All extremely good for the body, breathing in garbage that we were not designed to handle.Delete
I'd not known of Triver's theory of self-deception. Interesting!Delete
Do you know that in the past children worked as chimney sweeps?
Also, I think that Spinoza developed silicosis.
Heh. Imagine what happens in Japan when winds blow from the direction of China....
^ and mostly true.ReplyDelete
Thanks for writing more about this, and expanding on this, I appreciate it.ReplyDelete
What you say is true, as you can see by woman's actions.
Your writings on this (and I encourage you to keep going, to see how deep the rabbit hole goes) has me thinking about a male "antidote".
I have been discovering my own heritage, which is Norse / Viking ( probably explains why I'm so angry).
Anyway, the concept that has had the most impact on my reality, is the idea of living our own Troth (that's not a typo). The truth is now so degraded, and can be twisted by society and women, as can be seen by your examples.
Troth is Faith or loyalty when Pleged in agreement. This is a whole new level, one of honor, and one that will and can replace the antiquated definition of truth that woman use to manipulate.
Once again, great post and I hope you continue to expand on this subject, as not many are speaking about this.
It would be interesting to know the etymology of the word "betroth" and it's changes through the centuries.Delete
Faith and loyalty is gone from our society. What there is now is a contract, nominally enforceable, yet easily overturned if it is in her best interests (or a child's "best interests").
Pledges and honor exist only in the breaching, outmoded and quaint, to be sneered at by the leftists and academics. The pledge, the oath, the oathsworn. A shell of something deadly serious, now to be belittled and poked fun at.
According to history, at one time in America (possibly elsewhere and elsewhen) you shook hands with someone and the deal was sealed. You kept your end of the deal as a matter of course. Reputation, upholding your word, was what made your life. Now a handshake is merely a slippery snake of a greeting, like saying "hello" and the once-solemn vow of "I do".
"I do (solemnly swear to escape this entrapment at the earliest plausible opportunity)."
Too many strangers around to keep track of them and the practical anonymity of large city life have their downsides. Maintaining reputation requires being publicly known and easily recognizable by other people that you interact with. If you are unlikely to contact them again or to recognize as someone seen before, then expect more attempts at cheating.Delete
This is true, and a good comment about betroth.ReplyDelete
I'm just thinking about the idea of personal troth.
I totally agree that we live in faithless times, but do I have to be? I'm not interested in saving women or ex wives from their own karma, but my own soul seems to be strengthened by rejecting post modernism and it's culture of betrayal.
I don't have the answer yet, but your works helping me come up with an answer.
Hell no, you don't have to be a faithless person. You can be what you choose to be. Whether or not you choose to save someone is your choice, whether you reject the current culture of narcissism and nihilism and its attendant culture of betrayal is your own choice also.Delete
You are free to do as you choose, to the extent that you can live with it on your conscience. Including rejecting the entire business of reflection upon actions, morals, and the engagement of conscience entirely. Many men do that, choosing to dabble in the same social dominance game that women think is the end-all be-all of existence. Conversely many men are still men, they do not tolerate any bullshit from anyone: fellow-man or woman.
If this stuff I chuck out helps you, cool. I'm not gonna do any specific advice if I can help it, though - I prefer to throw out general principles, stuff like "don't treat her like she's God and can do no wrong" and "keep your dignity" and the like.
In the end it's your life, you do not need someone else to tell you how to live it. You're quite capable of deciding that one on your own. After all: you're the one who's gonna have it on your conscience at the end of the day.