Her: What do you have against fat girls who drink and smoke? They could be perfectly lovely inside! It's the inside that counts, not the outside!
Me: My apologies. I was unaware that your dream man was a fat alcoholic drug addict who stinks of tobacco and tastes bad when kissing. I also didn't know that you like guys with mommy issues and who beat the tar out of their girlfriends and punch her teeth out and give her black eyes on a regular basis.
Me: Why are you wasting time talking to me? Go find the fat alcoholic drug addict of your dreams! In fact, I can point you to twenty-thirty of them, they're everywhere.
It's always good to slap them upside the head with their own delusions. Not that they learn from it. It's just fuckin' humorous.