Thursday 13 February 2014

Valentines Day Once More

Surprisingly, after a year I'm still writing random thoughts on this blog. I hadn't expected another Valentines Day to roll around. In that time I've posted an average of once every two days.

Strange.

Well, it's vayjayjayday again. It tends to bring out the worst in me, thanks to the giant shit-test that it is. Add the marketing hype around it and that it's an American tradition, all I feel like doing is a giant raspberry. I think its time to put up a few naughty Valentines messages.

"She says she wants a pearl necklace for Valentines Day. Dunno why she asked special, she gets that every day."

"She shaved her head as a present for herself for Valentines Day. I got her a leash and collar as a present for myself."

"Nothing says 'I love you' like saturated fat and slutty lingerie."

"She says she wants chocolates. I'm getting her vegetables."

"If I don't get a good night in, I'll find another girl."

"Sex on the beach. A fantastic Valentines gift for summertime New Zealand."

"Natural tits are the best."

A couple of non-valentines just for the hell of it:

"Twinkle twinkle little tart, I can't decide just where to start."

"Then Little Red Riding Hood said: 'Oh goody! Once you've eaten me, do me doggy-style!'"

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