Well, it's vayjayjayday again. It tends to bring out the worst in me, thanks to the giant shit-test that it is. Add the marketing hype around it and that it's an American tradition, all I feel like doing is a giant raspberry. I think its time to put up a few naughty Valentines messages.
"She says she wants a pearl necklace for Valentines Day. Dunno why she asked special, she gets that every day."
"She shaved her head as a present for herself for Valentines Day. I got her a leash and collar as a present for myself."
"Nothing says 'I love you' like saturated fat and slutty lingerie."
"She says she wants chocolates. I'm getting her vegetables."
"If I don't get a good night in, I'll find another girl."
"Sex on the beach. A fantastic Valentines gift for summertime New Zealand."
"Natural tits are the best."
A couple of non-valentines just for the hell of it:
"Twinkle twinkle little tart, I can't decide just where to start."
"Then Little Red Riding Hood said: 'Oh goody! Once you've eaten me, do me doggy-style!'"