On my prior post Back To Basics: What Is Marriage For? I wrote a single little throwaway line which has made me think about another basic item of life and civilization:
To give someone skin in the game, then there must be in their opinion something worthwhile in return.Which brings up many things that have been said, repeatedly, through the manosphere. When you think carefully about it, you can see that it drives the PUA mindset of pump'n'dump. It underlies the concepts of the Christian Red Pill blogs. It underscores the why of MGTOW and Going Ghost.
We can see it when we ask what a woman brings to the table.
It's there when we ask a woman what she thinks a good woman brings to a relationship.
We can hear it whenever a Man gets frustrated and swears about not finding a good woman.
It's potentially there when a Red Pill Woman attempts to put herself up as what we men want.
It's potentially there when we hear about born-again Churchians and women who say that they've changed, they're not like that any more.
But we're all too nicey-nicey politically-correct to overtly state it. Even amongst ourselves. Even to admit it to ourselves. Because it's not "socially acceptable" for a Man to seem to be so selfish. Hell, I was too nicey-nicey myself when I said "skin in the game". So now I'm going to put it out there, for myself and for every other Man in the world:
What's in it for me?
Not angry. Not accusing. A simple, cold, selfish question that ultimately determines: in my opinion, is there something worthwhile in return for doing X?
Ironically and amusingly, women and femiwhores have been coldly and selfishly asking this question of men for decades (if not from the dawn of time) while at the same time exhorting us to be unselfish (it's that infamous female doublethink at work once more):
When she asks what you do for a living. (Subquestion how much do you make? Subsubquestion are you worth getting to know? Subsubsubentitlement I'm entitled to know so I can decide if I want to put my hand into your wallet.)
When she decides that you're no longer man enough for her.
When she impulsively fucks some guy she just met that night because he turns her on.
When she drags you around emotionally like a pet on a leash for her amusement.
When she dumps you because the sex/relationship has gotten stale.
When she causes a fight because she wants a drama fix.
When she asks you to buy her a drink.
When she browbeats you into doing something that you really don't want to do.
When she parts her legs for a PUA who has entertained her sufficiently.
Sometimes it's defensive:
Every time a PUA drops a fuck into her and then dumps her because that's all she has of any worth to offer.
Every time a MGTOW shakes his head and passes because he knows that she's going to be too much trouble.
Every time a Ghost slides through life with minimal interaction because it's just not worth the hassle.
Sometimes it's because it's personally beneficial:
Every time you go to the gym and feel satisfaction at breaking a personal record.
Every time you walk down the beach, out in the sun, filling your lungs with clean air.
Every time you do something just because you enjoy doing it.
Sometimes it's warm and fulfilling, as Keoni Galt states:
Every time you give to charity.
Every time you hug your child.
Every time you kiss your loved ones.
What's in it for me?
I look at civilization. I choose to continue with my reasonably high-income business/work because it is worth it for me. It pays for a 4 bedroom home which gives me personal space. It allows me to travel occasionally from New Zealand to other places in the world. That people hire my consultant ass is a bonus. Even so, I am thinking of changing and cutting back - there is a lot of stress involved, I have about 10 weeks of holiday-time accumulated, I'm beginning to wonder if it's actually worth that much hassle to me.
Others look at civilization. What's in it for them? So they minimize their interactions, earn less money than they're capable of, relax and enjoy their life. Perhaps it's a voluntary reduction, perhaps it's a forced reduction. Perhaps they decide to sponge off the system. Relax, enjoy the decline, enjoy the scenery, enjoy their family, enjoy other people. Develop your hobbies because you want to.
So these bring out another question along the same lines:
Is it really worth that much hassle?
This is what ultimately caused me to dump the entire dancing scene. I realized that there wasn't really enough in it for me, for it to be worth the hassle of hanging around these crazy entitled slut-whores. (Yes, slut-whores. Some used it as a dating/fucking pool. Others dated/fucked multiple guys at once. One was an actual whore. One had six guys in a single night. No other words fit. Plus, the drama and horseshit and politics and backstabbing!)
Well? Is it?