Leave 'em Better

The idea amongst the pickup community is that a man should always try to leave a girl better-off than when he found her. Unfortunately there often doesn't seem like much you can do towards this situation.

Here are the things that you can try to do:

• correct bad behaviour promptly

• tell-and-show her what attracts a man (long hair, tight body, etc)

• reward good behavior (especially feminine behaviour)

• be an (alpha) gentleman when it ends

This last needs some explanation.

A lot of guys, when it goes sour, become pussified little supplicating maggots. They try to suck up to the girl, get back with her, kiss her ass, etc etc - utterly humiliating themselves. It's sickening to hear about and to see in person. They have no dignity. It's no wonder that the girl wants nothing to do with them.

Other guys will get all butthurt about it and fly off the handle, trash-talk her, whatever it takes to make them feel better inside about the breakup. This also has no dignity, plus it hurts the girl in ways that aren't good. It also gets around to the other girls and the harpy's chorus will have a field day with it.

The alpha gentleman's way is to be aloof. Silent, relaxed, dignified, interminable, well above the drama and silliness. Perhaps to offer a small bit of encouragement in the background. This has two benefits:

• it fuels doubt in her mind and the minds of the other girls who hear about it

• there is nothing substantive for the harpy's chorus to get its claws into

So. A while back a chick mentally imploded on me and started accusing me via text of having no feelings for her, all I wanted was sex, that she wasn't going to be used, etc. All the good stuff that was basically true: because I'd been quite upfront with her that all I wanted was a friends-with-benefits situation. She'd been quite okay about that at the time.

There wasn't much comeback possible without sounding all butthurt about it, or lying. So I shut up, didn't text back, fell off the face of the earth, nothing. A while later I said something nice about "hoping that she finds the right man for her" to some others.

Last night she sent a meek little text: "Thank you. You didn't need to say that about me." It got back to her. In a way I suppose that it made her feel both happy and small inside, submissive, and - I like to think - helped her in some way in the future.

I suppose that my style might be classed as "gentleman bad-boy", if there is any such thing. Or perhaps what Heartiste calls "sneaky-fuck alpha".

As an aside, I just realised that I have put up over 100 posts - without noticing. I suppose that it's de rigeur to put up a special post, but fuck it, I've always been a bit renegade.