Hate hate hate

"I feel that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them." -- Robin Morgan - former president of the National Ourganization for Women (NOW) and editor of MS magazine

I must offer a deep and sincere apology to Ms Robin Morgan - and by extension, to all women. I feel so deeply ashamed. I honestly never knew how terribly oppressed you women truly were.

I never realised that the treatment you and your mother and your grandmother - that all women throughout time and space - received at the hands of oppressive men was so profoundly bad. So I feel moved to sincerely apologise for the following treatment of you and yours:

I apologise for you being chained in the darkness in a 10-foot cell all your lives.

I apologise for the three-times-a-day gang-raping.

I apologise for the morning and evening beatings that left you a pulped and whimpering, bleeding mess.

I apologise for the once-a-day bowl of watery gruel which left you so malnourished that the babies resulting from your gang-raping all miscarried.

I apologise for you being forced to sleep naked in your chains on an ice-cold concrete floor in minus-20-degree temperatures.

"Oppression." Listen to me snigger. Feminists. You are so fucking full of shit.