Friday, 15 January 2016

TGI Friday Fucktard

Not me or anyone I know personally, thank goodness. No indeed.

So I'm heading off to the TGI Friday lunchtime chomp with friends, go park at my usual spot - a cul-de-sac where the car can be left for an hour and a half before the idiot parking wardens go nuts with the tickets.

Parked there - cockeyed illegally, across two parking zones - is some dipshit in a ute, with two cops. And the fucktard is arguing with the cops.

Some people are just too fucking stupid to get it.

So I wander off to go chomp down some lunch. Don't bother to listen to whatever lame excuses the fucktard is coming out with. Totally not relevant. When I come back, the ute is still there but no sign of the driver and cops.

Betcha the dipshit got himself arrested.

Some people you just can't help. Always keep in mind: these days, the cops are *not* your friends. As those who've been chucked in jail with a false rape or domestic violence allegation can testify. At best they're neutral, somewhat sympathetic perhaps.

Stick with a plain and simple "officer" (they're not in the army) and don't argue or give them any lip. No jokes, no crap, no nothing. Or you'll end up in worse strife than you already are - you never know who is having a bad day and you don't want to become his target.

I should do a review of "Being Invisible", the author has much better advice for dealing with cops. Mostly it's about being relaxed and telling the truth (not the *whole* truth perhaps, but generally the truth - or saying nothing at all). You see, these guys deal with liars all the time and can pretty-much pick up bullshit instantly.

'Cause you can be the most innocent guy out there but if you fuck it up through nervousness and idiocy...well, like in Beavis and Butthead Do America...

"I want a full body-cavity search - I'm talking rotary router!"

And *kersnap* as the rubber-gloves go on.


  1. The sheer number of people on YouTube and elsewhere who think the cops "can't" arrest them is mind-blowing. The cops can take you into custody on little more than a hunch. If they couldn't do that, then mugger would simply be able to roam the streets,and no-one can do anything.

    They are required, however, to take you in front of a magistrate in a reasonable timeframe and explain to that person why you ought to be kept in custody.

    Personally, I think that this comes under the heading of "civics", which every kid should be taught in school. Oh, and which every migrant and permanent resident ought be required to pass.

    1. You're definitely right re teaching kids something in school. Pity that it's mostly useless crap beyond the basic reading/writing/arithmetic.

      I'm reminded of an old Judge Dredd comic from when I was a kid. Dredd's walking through one of the megabloc's, doing the futuristic equivalent of walking the beat. He suddenly stops and calls out to a rather chubby citizen who's eating a candy-bar: "You! Yes, you! You're under arrest!"

      Guy freaks. Starts running, knocking people out of his way, grabs up a little girl as a hostage, etc. Dredd is following him, telling him: "You're just making it worse citizen!"

      Eventually Dredd actually gets him, cuffs him, checks him out - and says to the guy: "You're clean, citizen. Why did you run?"

      Guy says: "I don't know Judge. When you called out, I panicked. Why'd you...?"

      That's when Dredd holds up the wrapper from the guy's candy bar: "You dropped this candy-wrapper. Littering is an offense."