Let us begin with our banal predictability.
Your family pretends well. Yes, women are this blatant.
Oh God, fattie-encouraging Beta to the core. It won't stop her from cheating on you when she gets bored.
Poor bastard caught in a sexless marriage. Wait, that's too empathetic of me. Go have an affair you stupid fucker.
Most women's lives are banal and boring. This is why they crave drama and romance - it lightens the tedium that they drag around them in their cloud of futility.
Betcha you were smoking-hot at that time too. Bulimia is your best friend, skinny girls.
Almost. Romance will do that to you. They have a pill for that now.
Ah yes, classic! Girls absolutely love phone-sex, it turns them on more than you can believe. It can start from a quite innocent sexting...until she has her fingers up her pussy and is squealing in lustful delight. Men, cultivate a deep and sexy voice just for this. Your penis will thank you.
End of a good weekend, feeling a little mellow now - enjoy these moments when they come, for they are what is good and lasting in life.