Friday 21 April 2017

Warning Label

There's an old saying: "She should come with a warning label."

Thankfully, many girls actually do. Better, they voluntarily put on those labels just for you'n'me. You see it all the time, you know the type of thing:

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure don't deserve me at my best." (You have no best.)

"I should come with a warning label." (No shit.)

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." (Fish have no legs to use a bicycle. Bleakly and ironically literal, actually.)

And of course, there's the usual red-flags that the halfway sensible man will pick up in a heartbeat and run like fuck away from.

A couple of days ago I was driving home after work and ran across an exceptionally well-labelled example:

* number-plate that said something along the lines of "meeeeee!" (Not the exact plate, you get the idea though - got to love personalized plates.)

* decal on the bumper that said "cute but psycho" (Actually said that.)

* a stick-figure family showing one child and one girl with a bunch of shopping-baskets (Single-mommy shopaholic warning. Not even a pet cat.)

We just have to thank these girls. They show every single reason to stay the fuck away from them, totally unmistakably. Just keep your eyes open for it, they're always there.

An amused look through Crap-Colored Glasses™, only $1k the pair and cheap at 10x the price.

2 comments:

  1. Tattoos are warning labels too.

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    Replies
    1. Tattoos and piercings, you betcha! Also funky-colored hair.

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