Thursday 14 February 2013

Happy Valentines Day (sucker)

Yes, it is Valentines Day here in New Zealand. Feb 14, 2013. The day when all the girls expect - nay, demand! - some special show of validation from their man.

Roses. Chocolates. Dinner out. Perhaps a romantic movie.

Checking the local movies I see a few contenders for tonight's RomCom with your girl: This Is 40, Safe Haven, Movie 43, and Silver Linings Playbook (just reading the blurb of this one makes me want to puke). I think that I might go for Seven Psychopaths.

A day of blatant consumerism and suckuppery from men to women. Silver Linings Playbook probably illustrates this at its nauseating maximum, with some retarded man mat just out of 8 months psychiatric ward who is determined to get his life and wife back (tagline "love hurts" HAH! only in optionless pussylessland). God, they made a movie about letting someone that mentally and emotionally fucked-up out of the ward.

So gentlemen, take this day - this enormous shit test from women-kind the world over - and look upon it as the great gift that it is.

The chance to test HER love of YOU.

Don't buy her flowers (cookie-cutter same-old same-old). Don't buy her chocolates (they just make her fat). Don't take her out to dinner (like the other sheep). Don't take her to a RomCom movie (gonna be crowded with plebs and suckups). Don't put any real effort into her at all (every stupid bastard is trying to be different for their girl - it causes a glut of stupidity).

Just do one thing.

One single text.

"Happy Valentines Day X"

Don't use her name. Don't expand on it. Make it as cookie-cutter cold and impersonal as possible. As if you had sent it to fifty other girls at the same time. If you want, you can make it all lower-case so that it conveys that extra vibe of don't-give-a-fucking-shit. Take out the "X" for some X-tra sting.

Then settle down with an inner smile and observe what happens.

If she's really upset - as in screaming shit-fits - dump her entitled cunt instantly. Next her without a word, never communicate with her again, total ghost/silent treatment. Because she is not entitled to shit in this world - beyond the air that she breathes. Everything else has to be earned, most especially your attention and investment and commitment. Her egregious disregard of that shows her princess entitled mentality to a final fare-thee-well. That shit also gets worse with time, so be thankful that you dodged that bullet.

If she is moderately upset - as in crying - then she cares for you, at least somewhat. Continue your relationship. Preferably by fucking her rotten. Make sure that she walks funny.

If she shows very little upset at all, then she has little feelings for you. Slowly drift away as you find someone more interested.

This public service announcement brought to you by "all vaginas are interchangeable™". You are welcome.

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