Do You X Me?

The age-old refrain of a woman: "Do you X me?"

Where X = love, like, trust, etc

Her: Do you trust me?

Me: No.

Her: ...waffle and wibble and dribble and whine as you tune out...

She doesn't like that you said no.

But not because you said you didn't love/like/trust/whatever her. Even though that's what she's decided to whine about on the surface. Anything to keep the plausible deniability.

Because the question wasn't the real question, it was to actually set you up to do something that you really didn't want to do - and she knew you wouldn't - and she's unhappy that you headed her off at the pass.

The nasty manipulative little bitch.

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Psychopathic Charm

The Dark Triad.

Narcissism. Machiavellianism. Psychopathy.

Adding this in, because Heartiste beat me to the punch with this: How To Spot A Psychopath. My own fault, I've been busy and very slow to get this post together and out.

So I'm reading up about Psychopathic Charm, somewhat. It was first brought to my attention through the book by Daniel Kahneman: "Thinking, Fast and Slow". In this, he speaks of what he calls cognitive illusions, illusions of thought. From the book:

As a graduate student, I attended some courses on the art and science of psychotherapy. During one of these lectures, our teacher imparted a morsel of clinical wisdom. This is what he told us: "You will from time to time meet a patient who shares a disturbing tale of multiple mistakes in his previous treatment. He has been seen by several clinicians, and all failed him. The patient can lucidly describe how his therapists misunderstood him, but he has quickly perceived that you are different. You share the same feeling, are convinced that you understand him, and will be able to help." At this point my teacher raised his voice as he said, "Do not even think of taking on this patient! Throw him out of the office! He is most likely a psychopath and you will not be able to help him." 

Many years later I learned that the teacher had warned us against psychopathic charm, and the leading authority in the study of psychopathy confirmed that the teacher's advice was sound. What we were being taught was not how to feel about that patient. Our teacher took it for granted that the sympathy we would feel for the patient would not be under our control; it would arise from System 1. Furthermore, we were not being taught to be generally suspicious of our feelings about patients. We were told that a strong attraction to a patient with a repeated history of failed treatment is a danger sign. It is an illusion - a cognitive illusion - and I (System 2) was taught how to recognize it and advised not to believe it or act on it.

Something like 99% of psychopaths cannot be helped. Basically because they don't actually want to be helped. They think they're fine as they are. (Shit, these days, maybe they are!)

Some parts of the Manosphere advocate taking on the characteristics of the psychopath - because women dig jerks.

I begin to wonder if this is actually more a case of women's "System 1" falling prey to psychopathic charm. Not a "chicks dig jerks" and more a succumbing to a charm that she's never been warned about - and has no experienced social-network to warn her against.

Of course, once she gets screwed over by a psychopath, she's damaged goods.

That's assuming that she's not damaged goods already. So many modern women have BPD/NPD characteristics that it's not funny. No surprise when she's catered to every second of the day from a young age.

Broken beyond repair, either way. "Men did this to me!" Divorce - women - family - friends - everyone in my entire life - did this to me.

The difference is that I own my broken parts. I understand how they were broken. I understand why they were broken. I understand the reasons behind why they were broken - and the reasons behind that - and even some of the reasons behind that. In the deeper layers that Society™ as a whole has no desire to even hint at, let alone explore in any meaningful manner.

I look at the society, at the world, that we are a part of. I understand that I pulled myself out from the gutter. I understand that in many ways, the gutter stayed with me. I even understand that it's a good thing, in many ways, for it has allowed me to open my eyes to see what's around me - to understand why it's around me - and to read it in some ways.

I understand and can accept these things as they are. Even when they hurt. I know that they are a defense-mechanism against what's out there in the world.

Semi-defensive God-Mode in The Matrix. I could reach out to punch the appropriate buttons...yet it doesn't seem all that fulfilling, if you grasp what I mean. Hollow and meaningless, playing a game where you're God.

If God as such exists: I sometimes wonder if that is why God allows Evil (which is generally dull and banal) to exist. The governors and controls are taken off. Everything predestined would be dull and boring and expected, an eternal blandness, so He states: "Do what you want. Surprise me." So humanity does, both with depths of banality and heights of creativity.

The highs and lows of the social level, from the depths of desperate degradation to the heights of beatific sainthood. Along with every graduation of blandness and shades of Crap Colored Glasses™-grey in between.

So. Psychopathic charm. Extreme self-absorption, extreme self-interest, extreme charm. The PUA attempts to develop it - just read the stuff about developing overwhelming confidence. It's a fake-it-till-you-make-it mentality in some ways.

Develop the charm that the broken find attractive. Attract all the broken women you desire. Never mind the jumping through hoops and shitting on your personal dignity that this entails.

Deliberately break yourself. In the way that functions sexually in this degenerate society.

Deliberately cater to her cognitive illusions.

Then wonder why your world is filled with broken (yet attractive) women. Is it because your cognitive illusions are fully in play?

Female Dirty Tricks

There is one thing that I've come across again fairly recently. I wasn't going to bother with it, then realized that I'm not sure if some men are consciously aware of it - and it might cause an "ah-ha!" moment for those who haven't quite clicked to it yet.

It's the tendency of women to take advantage of a Man at his most relaxed periods:

* just woken up
* right after sex
* tired after a long day

At that point she will come up with a demand for something that she wants. Usually nominally relationship-based (spending more time together or making it more of a formal arrangement). Sometimes it can be of a more mercenary ($$$) nature (often disguised as something "romantic" that can be done as a couple).

Of course, being relaxed the man might mumble an assent out of sheer reflex.

If not then nag him. Until he acquiesces or gets extremely pissed off. If he acquiesces - hooray! If he gets pissy - drama! Either way she's won.

Because men will generally grumble yet do what they've agreed to in the heat of the moment. Even though we've been manipulated. We kinda know we have been, on some level, yet we have the grace (aka brainwashing) to still keep our word to our manipulator. Even though we might be pissy about it on the whole.

If it happens on a semi-regular basis, then things will gradually build up in his subconscious - until he finally decides that he's had enough, that he's not happy with the way things are going, and he dumps her. At which time it's an opportunity for her to indulge in more drama. The real reality is that while she may have won individual battles, she's actually lost overall.

There is another couple of situations which this can manifest in too:

* when he's horny
* when he's sick

Ever agreed to something when you're horny? If so then you know intimately what I'm meaning when I say that you just got manipulated and screwed-over. There's even a socially-acceptable situation where women take advantage of this all the time: "Buy me a drink? Thanks, bye sucker!" (There's a reason PUA's flipped the script on these grasping whores, with the old-school: "No, but you can buy me one.")

Any of this is very nasty behavior on a woman's part. Deliberately manipulating a man during these moments in life. Nagging him until he acquiesces just to get her to shut her mouth. Note that this would be the default action for most men. Not to harp on the "mangina" or "beta" or the like - most men have been trained by their mothers/sisters/school/society that saying "no" to a woman is A Bad Thing™. Reinforced by their father having to knuckle under and give mommy what she wants.

Because of this training most guys aren't gonna give her a nasty look and say: "I just woke up and you've just been a bitch and given me a shitty start to the day. Piss off." Where the reality is that any of that kind of behavior is grounds for an instant: "Get lost." For all time, never let her back into your life.

Manipulation. Deceit. Underhandedness. Nasty, cold and calculating selfishness. A real piece of work.

All the hallmarks of a greedy predator trying to get her way.

If you've just had that "ah-hah!" moment - remember it for future reference.

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Slipping Camouflage

So, over the long weekend (ANZAC day, special here in New Zealand and in Australia) a guy I know asked me if I had plans or was available to go do something. (Long story that I'm not going to go into. Suffice to say it involved driving for about 6-8 hours, depending on the weather.)

Now, I had no intent for such a long trip. A guy needs to have some time to recharge, you know. Plus I wasn't spending my hard-earned cash on petrol for somebody else's benefit. I asked him: "Why don't you and X do it?" (X being his girlfriend.)

"X would kill me."

Now I thought that this was weird. This guy and his girlfriend enjoy doing the same things - the guy wanted it done really really badly - I figured his girlfriend would be happy to go along with him. If only just this once. Yet even so: "X would kill me."

After thinking about it for a while, I realized: his girlfriend is a well-disguised chameleon/predator. However, her camouflage has obviously slipped a few times in the past. Thus his comment, that she'll kill him if he does something like what he was wanting me to do. Even if he takes her along.

Me being single and all, I can do what I damned-well please. He cannot. Plus - which fuckin' annoys the shit out of me - he presumed that he could ask and I would chirpily say "sure!" and happily perform. Fuck that.

A little more reflection on him and his girlfriend and I realize: she must use emotional manipulation, mind-games, and that kind of thing on him quite a bit. Screaming shit-fits and the cold shoulder might ensue. You name it. Else there would not have been the fear to go and do something that he pretty overwhelmingly wanted to do.

Now, I've met his girl. While generically pretty, there's not much there. Obviously less than I thought, if she's that selfish that she'd fuck him around if she doesn't get what she wants. Which, from what I see today, included a fairly lavish brunch in a fairly upmarket restaurant. Must have cost $30-40 each, from what I saw. The girlfriend was across the table, looking generically cute, smiling at the cameraman: "It's all about meeeee!"

Guess who paid for it.

Guess who would *not* have been repaid for petrol and time or given a lavish brunch in a fairly upmarket restaurant.

At any rate, this leaves him catering to her all the time without being able to do what he wants at the drop of a hat.

Poor bastard. I wonder if he'll ever wake up.

Extra message: Protect your personal time. Lots of people will try to make use of it - if you let them.

Maximum Emotional Pain

In my post on dumping a woman, I stated:

Notice that it's all right if she makes him feel like a piece of shit. It's totally not all right if he makes her feel like a piece of shit. It's all about her and how she feeeeels - besides, men have no feelings to be hurt, they're just a fuckin' animal/slave made for women's benefit.

Which is funny when you look at it, because women go for the fuckin' jugular of causing maximum emotional pain when they want to. With a complete disregard for any consequences. After all, it's all about her and how she feeeeels.

Never mind the nasty, warped, pathetic emotions of him. He's just a man. He's not relevant.

So obviously, they do recognize that men have emotions. They'll sure as shit go for them, sink in the teeth, claw out his guts, etc. Hell, every time you hear about a nasty frivorce or the nastiness that goes on with child custody cases. Weaponizing the children, using them to get back at their ex-hubby, all that good stuff.

I think it's more a case of they recognize that men do have emotions - and manipulate them ruthlessly. It's another cognitive disconnect. Wimminz emotions have relevance, mens emotions are utterly irrelevant. Except as a handle or weapon to be used against him.

Try imagining from the inside the kind of cold-hearted ruthlessness that women display. We know it happens, we hear about it all the time. Try to understand the kind of nastiness that must be hidden inside a woman - every woman you see that is frivorced - as she's out there acting all sweetness and light, trying to lure her next man. Even if it's just for a quick fuck. When she's done that in her past.

Predatory indeed.

Only the utterly delusional can love that or use it for more than getting their rocks off.

One final thought - you will not be able to beat a woman at the emotional pain game. She's a past master at it, you're just a rank beginner. It's like this:

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