Sunday 2 November 2014

A Hundred Billion Fucking Selfies A Day

You can tell a lot about our culture by the evolution in photography.

To give some background: when my ex fucked off back to AmeriCunt to suck off her new boyfriend on a daily basis, she went off with a bunch of photographs. Amongst them: the negatives of every damn photo that I've taken in my entire life. Plus some of the photo's too - they're gone for good.

So. Not being content with stealing 10 years of my blood, sweat and diesel, she stole almost all of my pictoral life prior to her showing up. Go figure.

Now I've got these photo's that I'm about to get professionally scanned. To give you an idea of why I want it done, back then:

  • the cameras cost a few hundred dollars
  • the films cost $20-30 a roll
  • the developing and printing cost $30-40 a roll
  • it took time and attention to get a decent photo

All this done at a time when $2 was a decent feed of fish-and-chips, while $10-15 would be the equivalent of a modern $50-80 dinner on the town. So each photograph taken was $2-3 per.

Each photo was a moment deliberately taken and held for later, to trigger happy and interesting memories.

Contrast the modern shitlife specimen of narcissistic ho (both male and female) where taking a photo and uploading it to FaceCrap or InstaCunt costs a couple of microcents per.

You know the type. Mr and Mrs:

  • point-and-click-oh-it-looks-like-shit-lets-try-again
  • oh-my-it-took-ten-tries-how-hopeless-lets-put-it-up-on-facebook-and-see-how-many-likes-it-gets
  • what-photo-from-last-month-I-put-up-thousands-how-am-I-supposed-to-remember-which-one-you're-talking-about
You know those cunts. A hundred mother-fucking selfies a day. "This is me [and whoever] at [insert fancy/stylish location]."

What, you thought I was joking when I said about the Thai people getting bummed because they were not the most prolific photo-takers on InstaCunt any more?

Booyah.

So we have 7 billion people in this world. Assume that "only" 4 billion of them are capable of buying some form of camera, probably built into their cellphone. We will assume that half of these people are not the type to take selfies. Basically the photo's that those ones do take actually look outwards at the world, rather than inwards at themselves. (Me! Me! Me!)

That leaves 2 billion people taking selfies. Assume 50 selfies a day on average - maybe more when they're out doing something speeeeeshul (which happens at least three days a week). All that, to get 5-10 selfies that are "worthy" of putting up online. To be forgotten within 1 month.

How special.

I've looked out at the world a lot in my 48 years of life. Much of it is fucking pathetic.

5 comments:

  1. I'm going to ask this whilst not trying to be ignorant. Why not just scan them yourself on the highest DPI your scanner can reach?

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    Replies
    1. Hiya Sean. It's because I didn't have a scanner. Strange, I know.

      Turns out though, that the photos will cost $2 per to do because it's a manual process. This isn't the price that was originally quoted to me (about 50-cents per). However, they didn't know how many hundred photos I had to do. Apparantly it's also only at 400 DPI, fuckin' pathetic resolution.

      So I will do some research and get a reasonably-priced scanner-printer and do 30-50 a night for a while. It'll be at 2400x2400 DPI too, plus will cost a helluva lot less dollar-wise. Only an hour or so an evening, can do that while I'm making and eating dinner.

      Delete
  2. The Selfy whores of today were the Polaroid users and abusers of yesterday.

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    Replies
    1. Mmmmm I remember the first time the Polaroid instant-photo's came out. They were $5 per photograph and took about 3 minutes to develop, IIRC. No negatives required.

      The old Kodachrome song comes to mind.

      Delete
  3. BTW, YOHAMI has written an outstanding post recently.

    ReplyDelete